Happy 5th Birthday Lanerbugs!!

Wow I cannot believe you are already celebrating your 5th birthday! You are such a sweet boy and full of laughter and smiles. I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday and how happy we were to finally have our baby. I also remember going to the doctor and finding out that we were going to have a BOY and how excited we all were. You are a great big brother and we look forward to seeing you start Kindergarten this year!! We love you so much and pray that God continues to bless you with such a caring personality and love for Him.

Halloween 2007

Lane and Santa on the Polar Express

Lane and his best friend Logan

Lanerbugs and Bella

Happy 4th of July!!

We had a great time today celebrating the fourth. Lane went to the parade in Walden today and loved it. He got lots of candy and a few toys.

After the parade we went to Uncle Doug and Aunt Mona's house to swim. Uncle Doug cooked hamburgers and hot dogs. Lane especially liked the beans!! The food was delicious and we had such a great time. Lane and Macie got to swim together and Avery loved kicking and playing in the pool too!

Vacation Bible School

Motto:

Know the truth!

Speak the truth!

Live the truth!

Lane and Avery attended Vaction Bible School at CookSprings in Huntsville this year. This is Lane's 2nd bible school and Avery's 1st. Lane has really blossomed in his knowledge of the bible. In fact, one of his teachers was telling me that all of the kids were being really loud and not listening in his class and he made the announcement to them that when they are bad they are making the devil happy and they are making Jesus sad. His teacher said that all of the little kids' eyes got really big!! A couple of mornings ago he woke up at 6:00 am to use the restroom and the first thing he said to me was "did you know that God's holy word is the bible?" He never ceases to amaze me. All of his teachers said how good he was and how excited he was to learn all of the hand motions to the music. He did a wonderful job in the program and was very attentive the whole time. He was so serious and in tune with God and it was so awesome to see him worship the Lord.

Lane putting his change in the bucket for the Texas Baptist Children's Home.

Avery dancing to the music.

The night of the program, Lane doing his hand movements to the music.

McKenzie, Lane and Logan

Avery getting her first VBS certificate.

GiGi and Bella.

Happy Birthday Bamber!

Amber we wish you a very Happy 32nd Birthday today!!! You are a great sister and a wonderful aunt to Lane and Avery. Lane talks about you all the time and every time he gets in trouble he says he wants his Bamber! He was so excited that today was your birthday (partly because he knows that his is right after yours). I hope you have a fabulous day and we can celebrate many more birthdays to come.

P.S. I saw the unicorn cake pan at Mom's the other day so I think you should ask her to make it for you. I'm sure she wouldn't mind, she did Avery's.

Lanerbugs and Bamber.

The Sisters and their babes.

Amber and Cade Man.

All our chill-ren!

Congratulations Daddy!!

This weekend Scott competed in the Eastside Triathlon in Baytown and finished 4th overall in his age group. He did a 500 meter swim, 16 mile bike (he was 1st in the bike), and a 3 mile run. He has been training vigorously to prepare for the 1/2 IronMan he is doing in CanCun in September. He swims and runs almost every day and on Wednesdays he rides his bike to Huntsville and back. I admire his dedication and hard work to the sport and look forward to cheering him on in CanCun.

Touching Poem

I know sometimes it is hard to understand why parents that suffer the loss of a child just cannot seem to get over it. I never thought I would be that parent that would suffer such a loss. I can honestly say though it doesn't ever go away. As a mother it is so hard when someone asks you how many children you have because if I say 2 then I feel like I am being disrespectful to Emma because she does matter to me and she is my child. On the other hand if I say 3 then I have to go through the story that we lost a child at 5 1/2 months. I hate this question more than anything.

Also, on special occasions you never want to forget the child you have lost and it drives you nuts to try and think of ways to honor her memory and not let her go unnoticed even though others have so soon forgotten. I know that some people don't understand because they never held her or saw her and it wasn't as great of a loss but for me (and Scott) it is something you think about everyday because she is a part of us and our family.

Chrissy Warren, a good friend of ours, also lost a child and I will never forget her words to me about how to move on. She said "you will never get over losing a child, it is like an amputation and you simply have to learn to live without it." So, Chrissy I know you know what it feels like and they are not fun shoes to walk in but my what a stronger person I have become and I know you as well. Love ya.

Amber sent me this poem yesterday and I thought it was so touching and so true for someone who is walking in my shoes. I pray that none of you ever have to.

A Pair of Shoes

I am wearing a pair of shoes.

They are ugly shoes.

Uncomfortable shoes.

I hate my shoes.

Each day I wear them,

and each day I wish I had another pair.

Some days my shoes hurt so bad

that I do not think I can take another step.

Yet, I continue to wear them.

I get funny looks wearing these shoes.

I can tell in others eyes that they

are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.

They never talk about my shoes.

To learn how awful my shoes are

might make them uncomfortable.

To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.

But, once you put them on,

you can never take them off.

I now realize that I am not

the only one who wears these shoes.

There are many pairs in this world.

Some women ache daily as they try and walk in them.

Some have learned how to walk in

them so they don't hurt quite as much.

Some have worn the shoes so long that

days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.

No woman deserves to wear these shoes.

Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.

These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.

They have made me who I am.

I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

*Author Unknown*

Happy Birthday Mi Mi and Nannie!

We wish you both a very happy birthday and pray that God blesses you both in the years to come. We look forward to celebrating many more birthdays in the future. Hope you both had a wonderful day!

Today we suprised Connie and Scott picked her up for lunch and met me, Lane and Susan at Perry's to celebrate her birthday at her favorite place!

Mi Mi and Avery Ella

Paw, Lane and Mi Mi

Dad, Avery, Nannie, Me and Lane

Happy 1st Birthday Avery Ella!

Avery Ella, what a blessing you have been to our family over the past year. Every time I look at you I am reminded of the love God has poured on your life. I know that God has BIG plans for you. You have had to fight from day one and are still fighting to do new things. You are such a miracle of life and you have beaten all the odds!! I remember seeing you when you were first born and all I can remember thinking is "wow she is all legs." The helpless feeling of leaving you in the NICU every night by yourself was heart wrenching but I knew that if God had brought you this far he would never leave your side and I also knew that your guardian angel was watching over you very closely. I love you so much and I thank the Lord everyday for you and your testimony. Happy 1st Birthday Bella!

Our First Family Photo

Lane kissing his tiny sister.

Mommy and Daddy comforting Avery Ella.

Too Cute in my lil' hat!

My Big Baby Blues.

Mommy says I am mean as a snake but Aunt Kay and Uncle Trabis bought me this outfit because they think I am an angel!

I am the beach babe!

My first time to wear my bikini!

Happy Birthday Emma!

Happy 1st Birthday in Heaven Sweet Pea
I know you’re with Jesus as happy as can be.

I cannot imagine the awesome display
Of our Savior holding you on your 1st Birthday.

Emma, we wish you were with us to help celebrate
But I know your 1st Birthday in Heaven will be great.

We light this candle in memory of you
So you’ll never forget how much we love you.

You are a part of our family as real as can be
It will stay that way until your face we see.

Let the angels sing Happy Birthday to you
Until Mommy and Daddy can sing it too.

Relish in the fact your dreams have come true
And you are living in glory beyond the blue.

Please know that you are loved and missed every day
And Daddy, Mommy, Lane and Avery wish you a
Happy 1st Birthday!

Happy Birthday Tim!

We hope you have a wonderful birthday today!! We wish you could come down this weekend to celebrate, we'll miss ya. Take care and we all pray you have many more birthdays to celebrate!!

Happy Father's Day!

You are looking at a picture of the best dad ever! Happy Father's Day to all of the fathers who play the most important role in raising our children. Scott you are such a great Dad and have never failed or been scared to take care of your kids even as newborns you were always willing and ready to keep them. Thanks for being such a great Dad to Lane and teaching him how to be tough yet showing him how much you love the Lord and being the head of our household and taking your family to church. Your children will be thankful for that for years to come. I love watching baby Avery's eyes light up when she sees you because she knows you are fixing to make her laugh so hard! You have a huge responsibility to the Lord to take care of our family and be the head of our home and you have done a wonderful job. I love you and I am thankful that you are the father of our three children. You are the glue that holds our family together and that has gotten us through the last couple of years. Through heartache, tears, trying times and happy times, you have been there (the rock) to tell me that everything was going to be alright and that God was going to see us through and you were right He has and I know God is proud of the father you have become also. We love you!!

Daddy feeding Baby Avery one of her first bottles.

Scott and Lane opening presents for Scott's Birthday this year.

Our Family at Avery's Dedication.

Scott and I in Ireland.

Happy Father's Day to my dad too! Again I can say that I am so thankful my father has always been there for me. Girls that have good dads are always attached to them and try to marry someone who is like their father. My Dad and I have always been close and have always been able to communicate very well with eachother and most of the time without saying a word. We know each other's thoughts and know how to comfort each other when needed. I knew my Dad loved me but over the last year I have really been shown his love for me and my children. For some reason when Daddy says it's going to be okay you feel a sense of safety and you think everything is going to be alright. I saw the heartache in his eyes for the first time this past year when we lost Emma. It was the first time he couldn't fix something for me and he couldn't take the pain away. I didn't want him or Scott to leave my side during my grieving process. Dad showed me his true love when he stayed with me for several days and spent the night several nights and didn't leave me until I said I thought I would be okay. Even then he never failed to call and check on me and come by to visit in the days after. He couldn't tell me how to get through it or that he knew how I felt because this was one road he never had to travel, losing a child. However, I saw him grieve so much for his baby princess that he only got to talk to but never hold or kiss her. His prayers, encouragement and often his presence alone helped me feel at peace. I love my Dad so much and I am so thankful my kids have such a great christian example to follow as I did growing up. I love watching my Dad's eyes light up when Lane runs at full speed and jumps into his arms or Avery's smiles so big at him that it nearly brings a tear to his eye. I love you Dad!

This is not a good picture to most but this was right before I had the girls and Dad (Scott and Mom) never left my side. I was a bittersweet moment of neither of us smiling but it reminds me of the great connection that we have with each other and the love that we share.

This was right after Avery was born and this is my Dad holding her hand. I love this picture because Amber and I have always loved how big our Daddy's hand are.

Poppa, his princess and his lil' Shooter.

Poor Aunt Bamber!

Aunt Bamber has been so sick! She has ran 101 to 102 temperature all weekend long. It is hard being sick and not feeling good but especially hard when you have a baby to take care of. Lane has been praying for Amber and was so upset when he saw her blog and saw that she was sick. He said "Awe, Bamber has the atchews."

Amber is going to be going back to the doctor today and now Caden is showing some signs of being sick so he may be going to the doctor as well. Please pray for them that God will touch them and allow them to rest and their health be restored soon.

"I love you Aunt Ambie and hope you feel better soon!"

(Notice his new nickname for Aunt Bamber.)

Hope you feel better soon. We are praying for you.

Lane and the LolliPop

A couple of weeks ago we had some friends visiting from out of town and Mom and Dad kept the kids while we went to eat. Gi Gi bought Lane a big ole' lollipop and Lane is still not done eating it. He keeps it in a big ziploc bag and takes it out every now and then to suck on.

In the words of Lanerbugs, "Delicioso."

Poppa trying to get Lane to look at the blue sucker dot on his nose!

Avery and Gi Gi sitting on the porch watching us leave.

Let Me See!

Scott was on the floor the other night with the laptop and Miss Nosey Rosey was driving him crazy wanting to see what he was doing. Anytime we have the laptop out she is always trying to push the buttons or see what's going on. Scott pushed her aways several times and finally gave up.

"Hey DaDa whatcha doin'?"

"Oh really that sounds fun. Let me take a look."

"Well maybe if I climb on top of it I can see it better. I'm sure you don't mind."

"Okay. Fine, I'll leave you alone. I just wanted to aggravate."