Fun at the Park!

The other day after we picked Lanerbugs up from school we decided to go play at the park. Lane was so good with Bella making sure she wasn't scared and didn't fall. I love these pictures of them together and had to share. Hope you enjoy!

Peek-A-Boo I see You!

Bella enjoyed hanging on these bars.

She was pretty brave!

"L L Cool Lane"

Slide down.

Cute lil' Bella Boozie!

Remembering Emma's 2nd Birthday in Heaven.

Well today marks two years since we lost our precious little girl. I can remember that day like it was yesterday. Early that morning Dr. Anthony Johnson came in and said "Okay lets do an ultrasound and check on the babies." As I lay there with Scott by my side, both completely exhausted, he began to perform the ultrasound. Within 20 seconds he took his glasses off, shook his head and laid his glasses down. The thought never occurred to me that he was disturbed and something was wrong. After it was all over and months later Scott said he knew by the look on his face we had lost one or both and he was just trying to figure out how he was going to comfort me. He continued the ultra sound taking measurements, etc.. and then he gave us the most awful news of our life. He simply said "Kari, I am so sorry but we only have one heartbeat." I said "which one did we loose the Donor or Recipient?" He said "we lost the Recipient twin." We knew at that point Emma was gone forever and Avery was fighting for her life.

As upset as we were we both knew that God's will was being done. The night of the surgery we read God's word and prayed to the Lord that He would allow us to have two healthy baby girls and that if one of them was not going to have quality of life and endure a life of suffering and/or pain we would rather Him take her home to live with Him. I think that prayer was the hardest prayer we have prayed as a couple. We had to put our earthly selfish wants to the side and let go and let God.

After hearing the news we were both so ready to leave the hospital and the whole way home we held hands and cried. It was the longest drive of our lives. We had to make a stop at the pharmacy before we could go home. As we were waiting for my prescription to be filled Scott turned the radio on to KSBJ and the song entitled "Captivate Us" By Watermark began to play. As we listened to the words "Captivate us Lord Jesus, Set our eyes on you, Devastate us with your presence falling down" we cried like babies and thought to ourselves "Wow God you are right here, right now, speaking to us. We are not alone."

That day was so long and we were so paralyzed. As I laid in bed that night it was the loneliest night in the world. Emma was the bigger twin and moved around much more than Avery, so when I laid down that first night 3/4 of my stomach was completely still. No movement, no tossing and turning like every other night before she passed away. I remember feeling sorry for Avery because Emma was no longer alive to kick and play with. I cannot describe the loneliness and horror of knowing that I was carrying two babies but only one was alive and it was very apparent by the stillness that night. Since that night I have never slept the same. Something about you changes when you lose a child. My heart literally ached from grief and no one could take that pain away.

Days, weeks, months, and now two years have passed and that pain is still there. Part of my heart and Scott's heart is gone and our family is incomplete. So how do we get through each day? Hope. We have hope and know that Emma is resting in the arms of our Saviour and that she is complete. She has never known sin, never known pain and will never experience sorrow. For that we are truly blessed. We are the ones that have suffered not Emma. She is perfect in every way and one day (hopefully soon) we will hold her in our arms and spend eternity getting to know her and that is what we find comfort in.

Thank you, all that are reading this, for all of your support, your love, prayers and for not discounting her or forgetting her. Lundy, thank you for including her in your wedding program as a loved one. Amber, thank you for mentioning her name to Caden in your prayers to him at night. Lane, thank you for always talking about her and keeping her memory alive. Mom and Dad, thank you for being so sensitive and staying with me night after night after we lost her. Just knowing you both were there was such a comfort. Nannie, for taking care of me when I couldn't take care of myself and for holding me day after day as I cried. So many friends and family stepped up to the plate and sent so many beautiful cards, meals, flowers and phone calls. As I look back on all of the events since that day so many of you have been so supportive and caring and you will never know what that means to our family.

I think it is appropriate today to show you a picture that Karen Moise RN, (her husband, Kenneth Moise, performed the laser ablation surgery on the twins) took of Emma.

Emma's tiny legs and feet.

Emma's handprints and footprints.

Emma,

We love you so much and talk about you often. Your memory is alive and well and your brother and sister love you very much. Lane has taught her how to say your name and it is so precious. Your brother enjoys picking out flowers to put on your grave and said that we have to celebrate today because it is your 2nd birthday in heaven! He said we need to buy a cake because you are special! Mommy and Daddy love you so much and promise we will be home soon!

Love always,

Daddy, Mommy, Lane and Bella

GO ASTROS!!!

On Friday night we took Lane to the Astros game. We all had a blast! He had so much fun.

Here he is posing with Craig Biggio.

Here he is before the game throwing a basketball.

Some lady was kind enought to hold him up so he could try and make a basket.

Daddy caught a ball for Lane that was thrown in the stands between innings.

Here is Lane purchasing some good ole' Cotton Candy!

Here he is enjoying the ball of sugar.

Paw Paw, Lanerbugs and Mi Mi.

Scott, Lanerbugs and Me.

Easter Sunday

We started off the morning by Lane waking us up. Lane is so much like Aunt Bamber. Every holiday morning Amber would wake up not only way before me but also before my parents.

Here he is opening his basket while standing on the couch!

The Easter Bunny Gave Lane a bright blue shirt.

And a new movie!

Then it was time to wake Bella.

Wow lots of stuff for Bella. Shorts, candy, and Bee Movie.

This is where Bella is like Mommy. Remember Lane is like Bamber, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Bella is so tired that after looking at her basket she has to lay down again.

Lanerbugs and Bella.

Then it was off to Cook Springs to have church with Mom and Dad. This is Maddison, Lane, Logan and Bella after church.

Our Happy Family. We are so blessed.

Our tradition is to do one serious picture and then a silly picture for Lane.

Poppa and Gi Gi with the kiddos.

Me and the best husband in the WORLD!

That evening we had Easter supper/Birthday party for Grandma and Susan. This is Lane and Cooper opening their Easter buckets from Paw Paw and Mi Mi.

The boys enjoyed shooting bubbles at eachother with their new bubble guns from Mi Mi.

Bella admiring her My Little Ponies and matching coloring book.

Bella hunting Easter eggs.

Grandma and Susan with their beautiful Easter Birthday Cake.

Grandma holding up the footsone we got her.

Sorry for such a LONG post... this post was as LONG as our day was. We had a wonderful Easter celebrating with family and friends. I am so thankful for all of the blessing he has given our family, but most of all I am thankful that HE IS RISEN!

Easter at Gi Gi and Poppa's

On Saturday we went to Gi Gi and Poppa's to celebrate Easter. Gi Gi cooked a pork ham, spiderman mac-n-cheese, grean bean casserole, mashed potatoes, and yeast rolls. Scott said her meal was "MSG" MMMM Soooo Gooood!! It was wonderful and we enjoyed hanging out with them.

Lane opening his Easter Goodies!

Obviously all boys need a gun, right?

Bella enjoyed feeding Poppa M&Ms.

Scott and I fighting over a Cadbury egg.



I am not sure who enjoyed the gun more, Lane or Bella!


Four Wheelin' Fun.

Thank you Gi Gi and Poppa for such a wonderful day! We enjoyed the food and the kids enjoyed all of their gifts!!

In Full Swing!

Lane has started his first year in coach pitch/t-ball. Here are some pictures from his very first game. He did a great job and got the game winning hit!!

Lanerbugs!

Boys in the Dugout

Lane at Bat.

Victory Huddle. Yeah, the Mets won!!

Happy Birthday Mom aka GiGi!!!

Lookin' Good Mom!!

Now you see where Amber and I get our good looks! It comes from Mom!

The Top 15 Things, in no particular order, I love about my Mom:

1. The most forgiving person I know and NEVER holds a grudge.
2. Slow to anger.
3. The most supportive and loving wife.
4. Has NEVER turned her back on her children.
5. So gullible and easy to trick. She will fall for anything!
6. A wonderful listener.
7. A great encourager.
8. I love to make her laugh.
9. The best cook.
10. The most loving GiGi.
11. The perfect nurse when you are sick.
12. Likes to stay up late!
13. Reminds me of my MeMaw.
14. Loves the Lord.
15. She is my best friend. For real.

MOM-

I hope you have a magnificent birthday and that we celebrate many more birthdays for years to come. I couldn't ask for a better Mom. I will cherish all of the memories we have made together: from chasing down the school bus to give me my earrings I forgot, making me homemade birthday cakes every year, coming to all of my school programs, watching me dance at all those football games, helping me plan my wedding, being there for the birth of my children and the loss of Emma. You are truly amazing and I think you are such a perfect example of a christian. Do you ever sin? Just kidding!! I love you bunches and wish you the best on your birthday!

Love, Blondie