Beautiful Flowers

After picking Lane up from school we headed to pick out flowers and then it was off to the cemetery.

Before leaving while Bella and I were getting ready this is the conversation we had.

Bella: It's Emma's Birthday!

Me: That's right it is.

Bella: Where's Emma at? (first time she has asked this question)

Me: She's in heaven with Jesus.

Bella: Huh?

Me: She's in heaven, you know where the moon is? That's where Emma is.

Bella: Jesus make her sad?

Me: No. Jesus makes her happy?

Bella: Oh, she's crying?

Me: No. She's not crying she's happy.

Bella: Oh Jesus make her better?

Me: Yes. Jesus made her better.

Lane picked the flowers and Bella picked the butterfly.

Lane asked if we could pray and we did.

Then I got up and walked away and he was still praying.

Bella and I went to the car and waited on him until he was done.

He came back very quiet with watery eyes.

He loves her so much and hates to say goodbye.

Here he is leaned over in the tombstone in the background.

Three Year Anniversary!

Well today marks three years since we lost our dear sweet Emma. My at the grace God has granted me in my sorrow. He is amazing! As I look back sometimes it feels like yesterday and other times it feels like eternity. I have such a love and longing to hold her but I have come to the realization that must wait. In the meantime, God has given me her duplicate copy to love and hold and I will never have to wonder what she would look like because I see her in Bella every day. That is a blessing to a Mother!

I am thankful I am not God and He is in control. We often wonder why "bad things" as we call it, happen to us but we don't see the whole picture as God does. I took comfort in knowing that God knew my pain for He lost His ONLY son. In fact, he made a choice to sacrifice His only Son for you and I. It even says in the Bible that He turned His head. My the hurt the Lord was feeling. That kind of love to you and I cannot comprehend. God didn't put me through anything that He hadn't already been through nor did he forsake me in my pain and grief.

Today I will pick Lane up from school and we will go to Hobby Lobby and he will pick out flowers for his baby sister. Then he and I along with Bella will go see Emma and put birthday flowers on her grave for that is all we will ever be able to do for her as her family.

Emma's tiny feet.

Thank you to all of those who have remembered and called, texts and emailed me. It means so much to know that she is not forgotten! Also, thank you to my Princess Bible Study group for the sweet prayer (Sue) prayed yesterday and for the love and encouragement.

CHS 40 Year Class Reunion!

This past weekend was my Dad and Mom's 40 year High School Reunion. I treated my Mom to an up-do at Visible Changes and a makeover at Chanel. My sister came down to join in the fun and man was it fun!! My Mom's two friends Ronnie and Daylene met us at the mall and Amber and I ended up talking them into getting makeovers with my Mom at Chanel. Amber and I felt like we were getting our daughter ready for prom, except she was our Mother! You can go to Amber's blog at http://www.we3iveys.blogspot.com/ to view the hair and makeup pictures.

Once we arrived home we took her in the back room before Dad could see her and got her all dressed up and then ran in the living room and told Dad to close his eyes and then announced her grand entrance!

Daddy was so cute and excited to see Mom all dolled up!

Here she is Mrs. CHS herself!

Her hair was so pretty.

Here they are 40 years later. I'm thinkin' WELL DANG they look good!

My dear sweet Mom and Dad.

Me and the parents before Amber and I lectured them.



Amber with Mom and Dad.

Then we had to let them go as hard as it was. We told them to "be careful", do not get into "any trouble", absolutely "no drinking", be home by midnight, "behave" themselves and my favorite "call us when you leave". Man it was great! I never thought I would EVER get the opportunity to tell them how to pose and drive them nuts taking pictures of them, lecture them and tell them to hurry up or else they were gonna be late. My talk must have paid off because much to my amazement, my Dad called me on my cell phone and told me he was on his way home and that Mom was going to sta yfor another 30 minutes or so and then she was going to the hotel with her friends. Amber and I tried to call Mom and crash her party at the hotel but naturally her phone was in her purse and she never heard it ring so we didn't get to participate in the after party. I am very proud of the way they conducted themselves because they even made it to church the next morning! I guess Dad kind of had to since he was preaching right?

Here are some pictures Sunday morning before church of Bamber and the kiddos.

Show a mean face!

Go Yankees!

We are in the full swing of baseball season! This year Scott's Insurance Company sponsored Lane's baseball team and he is also the Assistant Coach for their team.

This past weekend Lane was so excited that Bamber paid him a visit to come see him play baseball for Bamber's favorite team, the Yankees!!

Dad giving a lil' pre-game pep talk.

Daddy giving Lanerbugs a hug after one inning.

Man I love my boys and I am so glad that Scott is giving Lane such good memories of his Father to look back on.

Sidenote: Scott you are an amazingly great Daddy! My kiddos are sooo blessed.

Lane running to first after a hit.

Bella was more interested in making funny faces with Aunt Bamber.

Daddy giving the pitcher a lil' strategic plan.

Lane hitting again!

Bamber brought us good luck because Yankees won!!!

Here is Lane first in line to shake hands with the other team.

Bamber even wore her Yankees jersey in support of her lil' man!

Lane played a great game and tagged 3 or 4 kids out! He has grown so much as a player this year and his Mommy and Daddy (although Mom is a nervous wreck during the game) enjoy watching him play and try so hard to be a good ball player. They have only won two games and Lane has received the game ball twice.

Happy Easter!

Obviously I am WAYYYY late in posting so I am going to try and catch up a little!

Here are a few pics of our Celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus on Easter Sunday!

We started off with Lane opening his gifts from Bamber and Tim Easter morning.

Then from the Easter Bunny!

The it was fining eggs that the bunny hid throughout the house.

He even hid them in the guest room!

Then it was Bella's turn!



She loved her bunny purse from cousin Caden!

Then she found eggs in the game room.

This is her saying "I didn't do anything!"

Then it was off to church with Mom and Dad.

Here they are singing in their Easter Program.

Nannie Goat and the kiddos!

One Big Happy Family!

Silly mean face!

Lane getting Beeah Boo.

After naps Mom and Dad came over for dinner and gave the kids their Easter presents.

Bella opening her Doar book.

She even got a kick ball.

Poppa and Lane had to test out the light of football.

What a wonderful day of memories we shared to together!

Happy Berfday Mom/GiGi!!!

Well what can I say I have the best Mom ever and I wish you a fabulous birthday today.

Top 10 Things I love about my Mom:

1. She is meek and mild and very Gullible!

2. Easy going and easy to talk into doing things!

3. Trusts my judgment if you can believe that (well only on decorating)!

4. Loves my kids unconditionally (she puts herself out and rearranges her schedule to see kids)!

5. Good listener (especially when I need to call to vent)!

6. Best cook (even if she brings me store bought chicken n dumplings when I'm sick)!

7. Visits often (she comes over a lot on her lunch hour to visit me b/c you know as Lane says "I don't have a job!")

8. She loves my husband (and defends him all the time, it's crazy, I'm her daughter but you would think he is blood!).

9. Makes the best ice tea ever (she made me some this week even)!

10. Wonderful Christian example of a mother and a wife (I try to test her and give her good come backs and ways to tell people off but it never works. Mostly b/c she can't remember I guess she really is getting older!!!! HAHAHAHA Just kidding!!!)

Love you bunches Mama!!!

The pit viper and GiGi.

GiGi and her lil' Monkeys!

GiGi and Sweet Ole' Lanerbugs!

I put this in to catch Mom off gaurd but she cannot get mad at me because this photo is courtesy of Photographer Lane.

More Than Thankful-So Undeserving

Tonight as I sit here after midnight in the quiet of our house I reflect on the wonderful day at church hearing the Talley Trio sing and hear my Father preach and I say in my heart "I am so blessed."

I have a wonderful husband who is fast asleep as he is tired from the long list of "honey-do's" all weekend. He has helped me decorate the office by hanging curtains, cutting rods, hanging pictures, making a huge 8 foot toybox for the gameroom and so many other things. He never complains that I stay up way after midnight to decorate or get some alone time or go for midnight outings to Wal-Mart. He always gives me more than what I ask for and never holds it over my head. He never compains about my passion for decorating and spending money to make things look just right. He is my ROCK and I know when I lay my head down every night next to him that I am safe and secure. Most of all I KNOW he love ME!!

I am thankful for my charming little, not so little anymore, boy that loves to read and play with my hair. He keeps me laughing all the time with his funny wise cracks. He is always so polite and well mannered. He always asks that I sing him Hush Little Baby when I tuck him into bed. He lets me play with his ears when they are cold! He is the best dose of sunshine to a horrible day. He is so appreciative and thankful when you give him something. He makes straight A's in school. He is very sensitive to other children or people who are less fortunate or who have suffered some loss. With the change of season he always asks to go to Hobbly Lobby to pick out flowers for Emma's grave. I am thankful he loves her even though he has never met her. He is seeking God for salvation in his life right now and I know it will not be long before he accepts the most important gift into his life. He wants to be a bull rider because he was named after Lane Frost!!

I thankful for my miracle baby that is happy and healthy and fast asleep because thousands of people prayed for her long before we ever met her. She is such a priss pot! She is exactly what I said I didn't want in terms of having a girl because she is so dramatic. Now I cannot imagine having a girl any other way! When I look at her I see myself. I love how she is so affectionate and friendly. I love that she will stare Scott down and give him a run for his money, even though she is just barely over 20 pounds soak and wet! I love to see the excitement on her face when she watches Yo Gabba Gabba. I love how as soon as she wakes up in the morning she wants to go bye bye. I have trained her well because we are some shopping gals! I like how every time we go to Target she asks for "Pawcorn"! I like that she has always been such a good sleeper post-reflux. I enjoy that she always says "It's a good day" because God has a purpose for her and every day for Bella is a Good Day!

Lastly, I am thankful for Emma. I cannot do this post without mentioning how blessed I am to be a mother of a child who is with the King! I am thankful because she will never cry, will never be exposed to death only life, will never know disappointment, and most importantly will never be exposed to sin on earth. I have always loved babies since I was a little girl, even cute lil' puppies, but would always tell my Mom that I wanted to have a baby but I didn't want it to grow up because I wanted it to stay little forever. Now when I get to heaven, I will rejoice in the fact that I will have Emma to hold and she will by my baby FOREVER! Little did I know all those years ago as a child God would give me what I always wished for. I am also thankful that as tiny as she was she changed my life and taught me more than anyone else has ever taught me. Part of the reason why I write this very post tonight is because of her. See I have been in the valley of the shadow of death and I know what that's like and I know what loss is and what it feels like for your heart to literally hurt because you are so saddened. It is because of this loss I am more thankful for my life and my family and what God has blessed me with because in a split second our lives were changed forever on April 27, 2007. Today I can say that it was forever changed for the good, but I can only say that through the grace of God and the strength that He gives me each and every day to live trusting only in Him.

Be thankful for what you have because there is always someone else who is a lot worse off than you are. Be thankful because God has given you breath of life and a free gift that cost him everything so that you could have eternal life. This Thanksgiving may you be most thankful for His life and his sacrifice for your sins. I know I am.